Stitching through Loss

Growing up I always had dogs in my life.  When each one of them passed I was either away at college or already moved out and on my own.  Their absence was felt and it was hard to say goodbye. It was not until my own dog, Banyan's passing this past summer when I actually felt the true devastation and loss.

Banyan was my 15 year old miniature pinscher who I had with me through many stages of my young adult life. He was with me as I got my first adult job, slept on my many sewing projects, lived with me in various apartments, and finally accompanied me into my current stage- meeting my fiancé and moving into his home. He was with me through it all.  In July he quickly became ill and I had to give him the gift of letting go. 

So many of my artist friends were so kind and offered to sculpt, paint or draw Banyan as a way to commemorate him. I appreciated their generosity but nothing seemed exactly right. I had to honor him in the best way I knew how...in cloth.

I used the background as my morning meditation.  As I stitched each row, my mind wandered. Sometimes it put me at ease, sometimes it brought back memories.  The piece to honor my friend Banyan ended up being a piece to heal my loss. Now as I'm finishing up the piece I realize, I don't want to finish this piece.  It feels too final.  I'm not exactly sure how I will feel when the time comes to bind it and frame it up.

This kind of piece is not typical for me. I usually tend to be less obvious with my subject matter.  But I felt the need to use his picture and write the text. This was not a piece that I will enter in a show or use as a representation of my art.  This piece is for me. I created it for myself and for Banyan.